.png)
When‌ ‌your‌ ‌child‌ ‌receives‌ ‌their‌ ‌Autism‌ ‌diagnosis‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌ ‌probably‌ ‌receive‌ ‌a‌ ‌lot‌ ‌of‌ ‌information‌.‌ ‌I‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌think‌ ‌much‌ ‌will‌ ‌prepare‌ ‌you‌ for ‌what‌ ‌will‌ ‌come‌ ‌so‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌come‌ ‌up‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ more... realistic... standardised letter ‌that‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌ ‌included‌ ‌to‌ ‌all‌ ‌parents‌ ‌upon‌ ‌a‌ ‌diagnosis‌: ‌ Dear Tania
It was lovely to meet you and L last week, and thank you for waiting so patiently for the last two years while you and your family were in crisis.
We are delighted to inform you that your child has been diagnosed with ASD with extreme demand avoidance. This is also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance or PDA - but we cannot mention, talk about or discuss PDA as PDA does not actually exist as it is not listed as a separate diagnosis in the DSM-V (it’s all very Fight Club). However, I have enclosed several very informative booklets explaining PDA as you may find this useful to help your child who doesn’t have a PDA diagnosis - as PDA isn’t recognised in this LA.
You will also find enclosed a schedule of all upcoming parenting classes that we run for families with a child that has just been diagnosed with ASD. We highly recommend these, as in our experience it’s lax parenting that causes most of the negative behaviours we see in ASD children. In this class you will learn all about setting firm boundaries, modelling appropriate behaviour and how to make an awesome sticker chart! We find that a really well structured reward and punishment system will solve all challenging behaviour. Unless of course you have a child with PDA, as this will cause an escalation of problems. But as mentioned above PDA doesn’t really exist, so we still suggest that you attend the class so that you can feel mega guilty about your rubbish parenting skills.
Now, we know you have probably spent the last few years understanding, researching, advocating, liaising with schools, educating teaching staff, dealing with challenging behaviour and loving your child with every fibre of your being while they call you a mother f*cking c*nt in the supermarket. You probably think that your child’s diagnosis will now open some doors for you to get the support you need. And we would like to reassure you that this will now happen…. hahahaha, just jokes - do you know nothing of how the SEND system works in this country?!? Sorry, you really are kinda on your own.
However, we would invite you to now apply for your child’s EHCP. You thought you had to jump hoops to get to the ADOS - wow, baby you are about to go for gold with the EHCP process. The best bit about this is that even with a diagnosis, your child may not get an EHCP if they are masking in the classroom. We don’t actually care what their behaviour is like at home - that is your responsibility, not ours. If you do get an EHCP then please be prepared to go to tribunal to access a suitable educational setting that can cater for your child. Once you do secure a placement, we would also like to inform you that it’s highly probable that none of the teachers, support staff, therapeutic professionals or other personnel will know about PDA (because it doesn’t exist duh) and you will again be battling to educate the educators - who will ignore you, and consider you difficult.
A lot of families may also choose to explore elective home education. This can be a great choice for children with a different neurotype. Please be aware, however, that as this is elective you will receive no financial support, therapeutic interventions such as an OT or SALT. If you do feel your child needs extra support, please speak to your GP who will add you back to the start of a year long waiting list. Also be prepared to quit your job (like you even have one at this stage). There are lots of local home education groups that you will be able to meet up for socialising opportunities. They are super accepting of children that try to control other children, roll around on the ground pretending to be a worm and lick the floor. You will also get to have some super fun conversations with the other parents when they ask you if vaccinating your child was what caused their autism!
No matter what educational decision you make for your child, please remember you know your child best. And if everything goes to sh*t, CAHMS is only a minimum 3 month waiting list away.
Again, thank you for coming in to see us. We wish you and L the best, and hope you enjoy the upcoming mind f*ck that is navigating the educational system for your child!
Kind regards Your LA
