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I am sure that most people can relate to the fact that homeschooling and life at the moment is tough. Not being able to leave the house often. Having your child/children home all day, trying to keep them engaged and develop their education is a really big ask of parents - particularly those juggling work as well. But the schools are sending work home for the children and staying in touch, there are zoom dates, Joe Wicks is giving the country PE lessons, and there is definitely a sense of support, community and shared experience. Schools are looking to reopen slowly with smaller class sizes, social distancing and if you don’t feel comfortable sending your children in quite yet then that is totally understandable - parents won’t face fines and still have school support. Life is stressful and it has changed as we know it, but we aren’t alone in this experience.
Now imagine, however, if you WERE completely alone in this. That this was only happening to you. That the school was closed to you, without any work being sent home, messages of support or teachers actively interested in the well being of your child. That there were no zoom calls or whatsapp groups talking about what crazy things your kids got up to today, and how large your glass of wine is right now. Imagine your employer saying “we don’t offer flexible working” and not having a choice but to quit your job and face economic repercussions with no extra government assistance. That there was no “phased approach” to getting your children back into education. That on most days you couldn’t leave the house, attend routine appointments, go to family gatherings, the park, or any other public place. Sounds rather grim doesn’t it? Well... welcome to being a parent of a SEND child that has fallen out of mainstream education.
Prior to Covid-19, there were thousands of families across the UK (and world) that were already living in a state of quarantine. I think PDA families in particular have experienced either a child who is either permanently excluded when the school can no longer cope or alternatively has had to watch a child suffer so much with school refusal or massive meltdowns that they make the life changing decision to remove the child from school. At this point ‘home educating’ may seem an ideal option, and compared to keeping their child in a mainstream school it is. For some families it works really well, particularly if you have a child that is able to socialise with other children in home education groups but for others you are just taking the child out of the frying pan and into the fire - except that the fire doesn’t call you several times a day asking you to collect your child.
But imagine a different system. One that is capable of quick change and adaptability for your child. One where mental health is prioritised and family support given. Where instead of feeling isolated and alone the school is able to set online work for your child, immediately removing the demand to attend. Where schools react, think creatively and help children who are school refusing or having to be excluded, by providing online teaching materials and addressing the root cause of their difficulties instead of parent blaming and issuing of fines. Where more specialist intervention can be found and given if needed. Where children are assessed accurately and a school place can be found that matches that child's needs, as opposed to that child attending multiple settings and becoming traumatised in the process. Where the child and family are nurtured during the process rather than having to fight, explain, suffer and end up in crisis before they can access help for their child.
Before Coronavirus I never thought such a system could exist. But seeing how the education system has so quickly adapted and changed, has reacted with such flexibility and has really focused on children’s well being gives me hope. Hope that this could lead to new pathways for children who are at risk of falling out of mainstream school, flexibility for children who are struggling and a new open-minded approach to education.
So welcome everyone, Covid-19 has given you a crash course on how to be a SEND parent! Please don’t forget what this feels like and as you start to slowly go back to this new normal do remember that every single child deserves the right to access education, support, to build relationships and have a community. Regardless of whatever neurotype you are, we are all human and deserve a full human experience. 💕💕💕
